


When The Sun Goes Down

by hedmarryhim



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Basically all angst, Best Friends to Lovers, Cancer, Dying!Louis, Full Angst, Harry Is Too Busy For Louis, I'm Sorry, Love Triangle, M/M, Ordinary!Louis, Regret, Romance, Sick!Louis, What Have I Done, Zayn Loves Louis But Louis Loves Harry, famous!harry, guilty, i cried, ordinary!zayn, too much tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 18:35:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedmarryhim/pseuds/hedmarryhim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Too much bills in his back, but a pinch of love in his heart, and sometimes Harry forgets how lucky he is in this world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When The Sun Goes Down

Harry was born to be a singer. Everyone can tell about that. His voice is flawlessly angelic, like voice that makes with gold in heaven. He loves to sing. He loves the world. He loves the fame. He loves his job. He loves the cheers from his lovers. But Louis, his boyfriend for 5 years, knows that he can’t fit anymore in Harry’s heart, when it used to have only Louis, not anything else. He never complains about him, he loves his boyfriend more than life itself, more than Harry’s fans. Sadly, it never enough. Harry is blind with all the gold. No, he isn’t a bad guy, he just forgets about his boyfriend. He’s still so sweet, he loves to spoil Louis with expensive things (but Louis just wants his love, not his money) he calls him baby and other cute nicknames. I love you keeps slipping from Harry’s plump lips, but Louis knows better, he actually doesn’t mean it. Life is getting hard for the blue eyed guy, he prefer his Harry. Not this Harry.

 

The scariest thing is; Louis always feel insecure, maybe Harry is tired because of him, maybe Louis isn’t enough for him, and there’s a lot of maybe in Louis’ life. He’s scared that kind of those thoughts are actually going to happen. He’s terrified and tears always there in his pillow while he’s crying himself to sleep. Blood shot eyes in the morning and he’s mentally tired. His family is gone, and he doesn’t want Harry to leave him. He only has Harry and Zayn, his best friend since he was a kid. Maybe Louis is always lonely but he knows, he’d do anything to make his boyfriend happy.

 

Louis asks him to go to a date a lot, Harry accepts it, but he’s late for almost like 4 hours or sometimes even 6 hours. Making Louis wipes his tears in the middle of the restaurant. And when he’s not late, Louis will end up alone in the restaurant, urgent meeting or important talk with Harry’s boss are similar in his ears. Sometimes enough is enough.

 

But love is stronger than that, and Louis wants to marry him. Louis wants Harry forever. And maybe because this soon-proposal Harry will remember to love him like the way he love him before the fame.

 

It’s rare to sleep with Harry, when he’s everywhere not here beside of the blue eyed guy. He’s too busy for Louis. He’s too busy for his personal life and Louis wonders does Harry miss him? He just wants Harry to miss him. Louis is always missing him. Every single day, every seconds in his life, even when Harry is right in front of him, he’s still missing him.

 

They’ll have a dinner date on Louis’ house. Louis cooks him delicious food and it’s Harry’s favorite. It all sets up with candles that smells like heaven and beautiful plates with beautiful napkins. But like usual, Harry is late for 3 hours and the food is getting cold as Louis just sits on the chair, staring at his clock on his wall. He’s tired because his own job, and he falls asleep with cold food.

 

Harry opens the door with wide smile, until it fades away when he sees his boyfriend is sleeping on his dinner table. His heart sinks and it hurts that he’s always late. He feels the worst (but it usually goes away when Harry sees Louis smile and hears “It’s okay.” Even though Louis lies to him, and Harry is clueless or maybe Louis is a really good actor to hide everything.)

 

He drops his knees beside Louis and he strokes his boyfriend’s hair lovingly. Louis begins to stir. Harry expects a smile from his boyfriend but he only gets a tired smile and it’s not reaching his eyes. He’s looking so small and tired like he doesn’t sleep for a month. It breaks Harry’s heart.

 

“Boo- I’m sorry. I had a lot of interviews today and I can’t decline them-“ Harry near in tears.

 

“It’s okay Harry.” Louis just smiles and he tries his best to show him the happy Louis.

 

“I’m sorry. You cooked everything and I’m late-“

 

Louis hugs him for a while and strokes his boyfriend’s back lovingly. He needs to be alright in front of Harry so he won’t be a burden for him.

 

Louis gets up without saying anything and Harry watches him carefully. He notices that his boyfriend is losing a lot of weight and his eyes aren’t  that shinning. Louis blows off the candle, cleans up the table and put the food on the cabin for food (it’ll become Louis’ breakfast in the morning)

 

“Louis- are you okay?” Harry asks softly and Louis stops moving.

 

He’s just stay quite and honestly he doesn’t know if he’s okay or not.

 

Louis turns around and pulls Harry into his arms. Kisses on Harry’s mouth and cheeks. Louis just says, “I’m just tired Harry. I’m tired because of work. Today was awful.”

 

“What happened baby?” Harry carries him into his bed and they’re laying down together.

 

Actually, his job isn’t that bad and Louis loves to kill his time in that place, it’s a distraction from not to think Harry all the time. When actually he’s tired because Harry.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it, I’m tired.”

 

Harry nods understand, he respects his boyfriend, he doesn’t want him to get hurt (but Louis is already hurting).

“Good night my love.” Harry kisses him deeply with adoration that burns from his eyes and Louis knows that he’ll wake up alone in his bed with a piece of paper with Harry’s handwriting that fills with excuses and meaningless I love you.

***

 

Zayn drops him off for another dinner on a restaurant and like usual Harry is late. Louis sitting alone in the middle of empty restaurant because it’s almost midnight. The waiters stare on him with sad look on their faces, watching the guy with the black tuxedo.

 

Finally after another one hour, Harry arrives with a bucket of flowers. “I’m sorry-“ Says Harry sadly.

 

“It’s okay. I’m fine.” Louis cheers fakely.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah, as long as you’re here with me, I’ll be okay.” Louis kisses him a hello.

 

“Don’t worry, I don’t have any jobs. So it’s just you and me right baby?” Harry smiles lovingly.

 

“Yeah. So what do you want to eat?” Louis asks because he’s kinda like starving.

 

“Anything good in here.” Harry giggles and Louis smiles softly.

 

The waiters comes to them and they order the food. “How’s work?” Louis says.

 

“It’s great. God, I love my team Lou. They’re amazing. They’re so kind and nice. They’re really helping me writing songs and recording.” Louis watches him, while Harry tells him with a bright face. He’s happy because his friends at work, not because of Louis. The blue eyed guy just can hold the tears that try to come out from his eyes.

 

Louis loves to hear Harry talking. He loves to see how close he is with him. It’s rare to touch his skin, to kiss his lips, to hugs him tight. But isn’t worth it? Isn’t something called love?

 

The food still haven’t arrive when Harry gets a phone call. Louis sighs sadly and look away, he knows that he’ll end up being alone again.

 

“John what’s up? It’s midnight….. Really? Oh my God. Okay I’ll be there as soon as possible. Thanks a lot man. It means the world for me.”

 

Harry shuts his phone and says, “Lou I’m really sorry. Ed just got another music for my new song. I need to go back to the studio. I’m sorry-“

 

“Okay.” Louis’ heart aches badly.

 

“Please don’t be mad I don’t know about this and I-“

 

“I’m not mad at you Harry. Just go okay?” Louis smiles.

 

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Harry asks sadly.

 

“I’m alright. Just do your best okay Harry? I know you’re a great singer.”

 

“I’ll baby. I’ll do everything to make you proud.” Harry kisses Louis passionately.

 

“Drive safe.”

 

“I love you so much Louis.”

 

“Love you most.” Louis smiles sadly as he watches his boyfriend is leaving him alone. _But you promised me_ , Louis thinks.

 

When the food arrives, the waiters get confused when they see Louis is getting up from his chair. “Uh sir?”

 

“How about you guys eat my dinner? I’ll pay it. It’s late and I have to go to work tomorrow morning. Thank you for the food.” Louis smiles warmly to them. As the waiters get shocked for a while. Louis is incredible.

 

Before he leaves the restaurant after he pays, he turns around and gives the flower from Harry to the waiters and says, “This restaurant needs more flowers.” Louis smiles once again.

 

“Sir I hope you know that he doesn’t deserve you. You are an amazing person.” One of the waiters says to him and Louis’ heart stops.

 

“I hate that I still love him so much.” Louis smiles sadly and says good night to them as he walks home alone in the middle of freezing night.

***

 

Louis is at Harry’s after party concert. Harry is looking magically happy, he can’t even stop smiling. Harry doesn’t introduce him as his boyfriend in front of the new people. He doesn’t care. He even leaves Louis alone on the corner, while he’s drinking and laughing with people. Louis watches him with tears on his cheeks and a hurting heart.

 

He stands up from his chair, walks to find Harry. He finds the green eyed guy talking happily with another famous celebrities, Louis knows he’s doing the right thing, he doesn’t want to disturb his boyfriend. He turns around and takes the last train to his flat.

 

On the train, he’s crying loudly. He doesn’t care about a few people near him. But there’s an old guy that sits beside Louis. “Son, are you alright?” He asks softly.

 

“I’m tired. I’m so tired.” Louis continues crying his heart out.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s just, I want to stop loving him but I can’t. I love him so much.”

 

“Is he worth the fight?”

 

“I don’t know. I bet he forgets that he has a boyfriend.” Louis wipes his tears with both of his hands.

 

“Respect yourself, son. Like what Faraaz Kazi said, don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars. There’s still a lot of  beautiful things for you. Don’t let him steal your happiness.”

 

“But he’s my happiness.”

 

“Then why you’re crying because of him? It means you need to find your new happiness.”

 

***

 

Sometimes Louis thinks that love is getting hurt and dying. He loves him forever and he wants to show the world that Harry is his. He knows that this is worth it. The pain doesn’t matter anymore, a big smile appears on his face with faith on his hand and a ring from his Grandpa, as he wants to propose Harry on this dinner date. He really hopes that Harry isn’t late.

 

But reality is cruel and he’s alone again. It doesn’t hurt anymore, because it’s the only thing he can feel since long time ago. It’s just the same feeling, the same pain in his heart, and it isn’t a brand new thing.

 

Louis plays with the box in his palms. Thank God, Harry comes 5 minutes later. They talk like usual and Louis feels happy because soon, he’s going to marry the love of his life. When Louis wants to get down on his knees, Harry gets a phone call.

 

Louis closes his eyes and it’s enough. More than enough. He feels the hurt the most, with his heart aching badly. His mind is throbbing and he’s barely breathing right now. He knows he shouldn’t love him that much.

 

With another kisses and excuses like usual, Harry leaves him.

 

Louis calls Zayn to pick him up from the restaurant. Hnever likes Harry, and Louis gets shouts from him, as he remembers Zayn says that Harry is far from the best boyfriend, and Louis knows that Zayn is right sometimes.

In that moment, Louis’ chest hurts so bad, and he doesn’t know how to breathe. His head is throbbing like mad and the sight becoming blurry. While Harry has a big wide smile on his face because he’s going to have an upcoming tour in a few weeks, and he doesn’t hear the sirens beeping loudly behind him.

 

Zayn arrives 10 minutes later. He doesn’t find Louis in the restaurant. He asks the waiter and his heart drops in a moment. Louis is on his way to the closest hospital.

 

Zayn can’t stop crying, because he loves him more than Harry loves Louis. He wants him to be alright.

 

***

 

“Zayn please don’t tell Harry.” Says Louis weakly when he wakes up on the uncomfortable hospital bed and hears the news.

 

“Louis-“ Zayn is sobbing loudly beside him. Louis cries silently as the pain won’t leave him alone.

 

“I’ll be alright Zayn.”

 

“No you’re not Louis- You’re not. You’re dying Louis.” Zayn buries his face on the sheets.

 

“I’m not going to leave you.”  Louis says softly as he strokes his best friend’s hair lovingly.

 

“Promise?”

 

“I promise Zayn.”

 

***

 

The Leukimia steals Louis from this world. He’s grateful that Harry is already in his tour so he won’t see him like this. The blue eyed guy doesn’t want him to know about his sickness. Sometimes Louis talks to his boyfriend on the phone with a bleeding nose and throbbing head. He doesn’t want to ruin his tour. He knows that he’s going to be alright. Just waiting for his day to leave. He knows that he’s going to die soon. The chemotherapy and the strong medicines can’t save him. As the doctor says that he only has 3 months to live.

 

“Zayn?” He looks up to Louis.

 

“Yes Louis? Do you need anything?”

 

“Sing to me Zayn.” Louis speaks softly and Zayn wants to cry, because he remembers that moments when that blue eyes were shining brightly and looking so alive. 

_When the rain is blowing in your face,_

_And the whole world is on your case,_

_I could offer you a warm embrace,_

_To make you feel my love_

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear,_

_And there's no one there to dry your tears,_

_I could hold you for a million years,_

_To make you feel my love_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet,_

_But I would never do you wrong_

_I've known it from the moment that we met,_

_No doubt in my mind where you belong_

_I'd go hungry,_

_I'd go black and blue,_

_And I'd go crawling down the avenue_

_No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do,_

_To make you feel my love_

_Ooh,_

_Mmm_

_Oh, the storms are raging on the rolling sea,_

_And on the highway of regret_

_The winds of change are blowing wild and free,_

_You ain't seen nothing like me yet_

_I could make you happy,_

_Make your dreams come true,_

_Nothing that I wouldn't do_

_Go to the ends of the Earth for you,_

_To make you feel my love_

_To make you feel my love_

They’re both crying, as Zayn finishes his song. “I love you so much Louis. I love you more than anything in this world.”

 

“I love you too.” Louis chokes a sob and they tangled together tightly. But Zayn knows that there’s only Harry in his heart. There’s no longer space for him to stay. Zayn promises that he won’t stop loving the blue eyed guy. It hurts to see him belongs to someone else’s but he’ll keep on living, because Louis is in his arms for a while now. It’s more than enough for Zayn. He’ll make Louis happy for the rest of his life even it’s only 3 months left.

 

Sometimes Zayn reads him beautiful books, pouring his heart out when he sings to Louis, making Louis laughs with his funny jokes, and tells him that he’s so beautiful. The blue eyed guy realizes that maybe his heart is healing, maybe Zayn can fix his heart. Maybe Zayn is all he needs.

 

***

Harry comes home after 3 months tour and can’t wait to kiss Louis, tells him that he’s going to have a one month holiday. He can’t wait to spend it with his beloved boyfriend. Until he finds an empty room.

 

“Baby I’m home!” Harry cheers brightly as he takes off his coat and put it on the hanger. When he doesn’t get an answer, his stomach feels weird. He doesn’t like the feeling of it.

 

“Boo where are you?” Harry shouts again and then he travels Louis’ flat. Searching for the love his life.

 

There’s a knock in the door and Harry runs. Smiling widely because he thinks he’ll find Louis, but instead, he meets Zayn, with blood shot eyes and dry tears on his cheeks.

 

“Z-zayn? Are you alright? Where’s Louis?” Harry’s smile drops in a second.

 

They’re sitting on the sofa, face to face. “Where’s Louis, Zayn?”

 

There’s a long silence before Zayn says those words that break Harry’s heart forever. “He’s gone.” It sounds like a whisper because Zayn doesn’t know how to do this. He’s just lost his best friend.

 

“W-what?” Harry’s eyes go wide and his heart stops beating. His body starts to shake and his mind doesn’t want to think that way.

 

“He’s dead.”

 

“No he’s not.” Harry convinces him with tears that already come out from his eyes like a river.

 

“I’m sorry Harry, but he’s dead.” Zayn is crying.

 

“No!- what happened Zayn? Tell me this is only a joke.” Harry’s sobs fill the air as his mind can’t think straight.

 

“He got Leukimia Harry.” Harry closes his eyes and he wishes this is only a dream, he’ll wake up and find Louis on his arms.

 

But this is not a dream, “Why- why he didn’t tell me?” Harry is trying so hard to breathe.

 

“He didn't want you to worry about him.”

 

“No! Louis my Louis.” Harry throws a vase on the wall with tears racing heavily while Zayn watches him in pity.

 

“You don’t know how lucky you are in this world Harry.”

 

“What do you mean Zayn?” Says Harry between his sobs.

 

“You don’t know how perfect Louis. You don’t deserve him Harry.”

 

“Zayn-“

 

“You don’t love him as much as he loves you Harry. You’re too blind with this world. You prefer your job, than your boyfriend.” Harry’s heart breaks and he shakes his head, refusing Zayn.

 

“No that’s not true Zayn. I love him-“

 

“You aren’t the one who found him sitting alone in the restaurant, you aren’t the one who found him came home from the dinner with wet clothes because he walked home by himself even though it was raining. You aren’t the one who found him eating yesterday food in the morning. You aren’t the one who found him crying himself to sleep. You aren’t the one who found him sobbing on the floor because he missed you so much. You aren’t the one who found him stopped eating because he thought that he isn’t enough for you. You aren’t the one who found him dying on the hospital bed. You aren’t the one who found him he had a cancer that killing him slowly to death. You aren’t the one who found him crying so hard with his hair on his hands. You aren’t the one who found him bleeding. You aren’t the one who heard the flat line beeping sounds, and I love him so much Harry. I love Louis more than you love him. I don’t understand why you did that to Louis.”

 

Harry just sobbing louder. He doesn’t know what to say. He feels lifeless. He feels like he wants to die. His body is shaking as his heart breaks into pieces.

 

“You know what Harry? When I found him on the hospital, I found a box of a diamond ring on his coat. I remember he told me that he wanted to marry you.”

 

Harry keeps sobbing in agony. His heart hurts and it feels like burning. Regret and guilty is running through his veins. He just wants Louis. His beautiful Louis is dead.

 

“I think it’s my time to go, and Harry, he told me that this letter belongs to you.” Zayn wipes his face and hands the green eyed guy a box. Harry reaches it with shaky hands. He doesn’t feel anything. He’s feeling numb and all he wants to do is die.

 

“I’m sorry Harry.” Zayn hugs him tightly. “Thank you Zayn. It’s too late for everything and I hate myself.”

 

“He loves you so much Harry I hope you know that. There’s no space for me to stay in his heart. His heart belongs to you. Not mine, but I’m glad that I made him happy when you’re gone. I’m glad that I gave him my love.”

 

***

 

_Dearest Harry my love._

_Firstly, please stop crying. I don’t want to see you cry. I’m sorry for leaving you and I’m sorry for not telling you. I don’t want to disturb you from your tour. I just want you to be happy. I don’t want you to be sad, you deserve to be happy. Maybe Zayn already told you everything, I just want to say, it’s not your fault and you don’t need to be sorry. I know your job is more important, and maybe there are those nights when I wish you hold me closely and tell me how much you love me. But I feel like the world is stealing you away from me. I don’t want you to replace me from your heart. I want to be yours forever. It’s too late for everything, and I’m sorry for being such a bad boyfriend, I know I’m not good enough for you. But I always try my best to you Harry. I even learned how to cook and how to decorate the table for a perfect dinner. When I just want to be perfect in your eyes. I love you so much more than anything in this world. I’m sorry if I’m not good enough. I’m sorry for everything. Don’t cry please Harry. I’m sorry for not fighting. You’re not here and how can I fight when you’re the only reason why I want to fight this cancer. I’m sorry for giving up, I’m sorry for refusing the medication when the doctors told me that I only have 3 months to live. I know that I’ll die soon. I’ll leave this world. It’s such a waste to take another medication. Because I’m going to die anyway. I want you to keep on believing in yourself. Don’t you ever dare to give up because of me. I’m so proud of you Harry. You make everyone smile from your beautiful music. And I can’t be more proud than this. You are a star and I know from the first day we met, I know that you’re going to be huge. You’ll hold the world in your hands. I’m glad that I know you as my best friend and I’m glad to have you as my boyfriend. I have an amazing life and I wish we could do more in the future. But please remember that I’ll always stay in your heart. And I want you to keep on singing. Keep reaching your dreams. I want you to move on and find someone who’s so much better than me. I’ll always watching you from above. I love you so much Harry. I’m sorry for everything._

_You’ll always be in my heart._

_Yours, Louis._

**Author's Note:**

> Song; Make You Feel My Love by Adele


End file.
